Link between grief and physical pain

After almost two years of being virtually pain-free, I started feeling lower back pain again three days ago, with radiating pain down to my right hip. This came out of nowhere, and I felt a bit like a fraud since this happened just as I’m writing an e-book about becoming pain-free.

But actually, this is the perfect opportunity to share why I’m experiencing pain now and what I did to cope with it.

The past year has brought me many new insights. Because of this, I’ve had to distance myself from people I cared about deeply for a long time, and I’m also working on shedding my people-pleasing side. This process is painful (both literally and figuratively) and comes with sadness, disappointment, and grief.

This past weekend, I felt sad and especially angry, and then on Monday, the back pain appeared. I interpret that anger as one of the stages of grief. I had pain in both my neck and lower back. It didn’t incapacitate me; it was more exhausting and annoying.

I walked, biked for 45 minutes, and did yoga to stretch my pelvic muscles. Two days later, I had a breakfast date, a prosecco date on Thursday 😬, and a walking date on Friday. By Wednesday, the back pain had already eased, and by connecting with the right people, I realized that there were also good things that came out of this year filled with confrontations.

Having spent a few months alone with my thoughts, I found strength within myself that no one else could give me. I no longer need opinions or naysayers. Or, they can still come, but I don’t pay attention to them anymore.

Now, people are coming into my life who say, "Yes, go for it! That’s totally something for you. I’m cheering you on. Can I help in any way?" And that feels wonderful. Like a warm blanket, and my pain disappears.

Oh, right, the back pain! On Monday, I was walking bent over. The yoga exercises were mostly laughable – my hamstrings are still short, as always. By Wednesday, the pain was almost gone. I still have very tight muscles in my lower back, as well as in my trapezius (the "hoodie" muscle). I’m not worried about it. And that is the difference from before.

The connection between the body and emotions is something special… but then, so is life, right?

-xxx- Els

Photo: sculpture by Vigeland in Oslo